VAYETZEH

"AND YAAKOV AWOKE FROM HIS SLEEP, AND SAID: HASHEM IS TRULY IN THIS PLACE, AND I DID NOT KNOW IT...HE WAS FRIGHTENED...(Bereishis 28:16,17)"

Yaakov left Beer Sheva and headed toward Charan. On the way, he laid down to rest for the night. During the night, he experienced an extraordinary prophetic vision in a dream, in which Hashem Himself stood before him and promised blessings to him and his descendants for all generations to come.."Your descendants shall be like the dust of the earth...I am with you...I shall protect you..." Yaakov awoke from his sleep and said, "Hashem is truly in this place and I did not know it." He was frightened, and exclaimed, "How awe-inspiring is this place!"

Rashi explains Yaakov Avinu's statement, "And I did not know it" to imply that "had I known, I would not have slept in a place as holy as this." From this Rashi, we can infer two things: 1] When Yaakov Avinu awoke from this incredible dream he was frightened because he thought that he had sinned in sleeping in a holy place. 2] When Yaakov Avinu said, "Had I known, I would not have slept in a place as holy as this," he was, in essence, saying that he would rather not have slept in this holy place, although this would mean that he would relinquish all the promises and visions that he had received in his holy dream. Yaakov would rather not have slept there, and consequently not have received the dream, than have transgressed and slept there and have received the dream.

This is mystifying. When Yaakov awoke from his sleep, he was frightened because he had transgressed by sleeping in a holy place. Would we have reacted in such a manner? Wouldn't we have enthusiastically jumped for joy upon receiving such an incredible vision, receiving blessings from Hashem of protection and fruitfulness, for himself and for the entire Klal Yisroel for all generations to come? Shouldn't Yaakov Avinu have rather been utterly possessed by overwhelming feelings of jubilation and ecstasy, with praise and thanks to Hashem? Where is there room in his heart during this moment of exhiliration for fear of transgression? Shouldn't the natural instinctive joy that Yaakov surely experienced at that moment, have totally eclipsed any feelings of fear of transgression? Why then was Yaakov's initial reaction upon awakening from the dream one of fear, "He was frightened and exclaimed how awe inspiring is this place!?"

Moreover, exactly what is the issur of sleeping in a holy place that Yaakov was so afraid of? At best, it is merely a lack of derech eretz¹ for one to sleep in a holy place rather than being an actual halacha. If so, why is Yaakov so full of fear for transgressing a mere lack of derech eretz, something that is not forbidden according to the halacha.

Furthermore, Yaakov said, "Had I known, I would not have slept in a place as holy as this." Would it really be worthwhile for Yaakov to forego all the brachos, for himself and his descendants for all generations to come, rather than violate sleeping in a holy place which is a mere breach of derech eretz? Wouldn't it be more worthwhile for Yaakov to transgress this mere derech eretz and sleep in this holy place in order to attain the manifold brachos of this dream for himself and for the entire Klal Yisroel, for all generations to come?